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10 Holiday Gifts That Will Make The True Crime Lover In Your Life Just Die... With Happiness
Get the true crime fanatic in your life a Jeffrey Dahmer cutting board or a serial killer coloring book.
Want to make someone you love die… with glee when they receive their holiday gift from you this year?
If any of your relatives or friends are diehard fan of true crime, they probably don’t want that “live laugh love” wall art this year, but you may not be sure what to actually get them. Sure, while they adore true crime documentaries and podcasts, gone are the days of buying DVD box sets for gifts, and most probably already have a subscription to all the platforms that stream those docs, anyway.
So, what kind of gift can you get them that they will actually use and like?
Well, luckily for you, over at Oxygen we have all the goods you need for your kill list, er, shopping list. These items are specific enough that your target likely doesn’t have it already, but practical enough that they will definitely be used.
1. Dahmer's Deli Wooden Cutting Board, $25.50
This gift is subtle enough that one may not actually process the serial killer reference until further inspection. Possibly until they're cutting up some processed meats. (No people meat, please.)
Obviously, this board is referencing serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer, the chocolate factory worker who killed 17 men and boys over the course of 13 years. What made him so notorious was the fact that he didn’t just hunt down and kill his targets, but he ate some of them, too. A human head was even found in his fridge when he was caught.
“Dahmer's Deli, bring you organic prime cuts - straight from his apartment freezer to your kitchen table,” the description of the cutting board reads.
How appetizing.
This is an extra great find if your friend is as obsessed with cooking as they are with true crime.
This comfy-looking hoodie reads, "True Crime, Glass of Wine, in Bed by Nine.”
Hmm, relatable. What could be greater than comfy wear for your loved one to lounge about the house in after eating some snacks cut up on their Dahmer board?
3. Women serial killers coloring book, $10
Statistically speaking, you're most likely buying for a woman because women love their true crime — in fact, a 2010 article published in Social Psychological and Personality Science confirmed that more women than men tend to gravitate toward true crime.
So why not give a lovely lady in your life (or anyone else, really) a coloring book of the most infamous homicidal femme fatales? They can color in Aileen Wuornos’ eyes as they sip on wine and listen to their favorite Martinis and Murder episode.
4. 19 Crimes hard chard, $13.00
OK, so we recommended this last holiday season too, but really, one cannot go wrong with booze as a gift.
These Australian Cabernet Sauvignon wine bottles come with a photo of a different convict sent to Australia as punishment centuries ago. The wines are meant to celebrate these first colonists and criminals.
Cheers to that. (Plus, this pairs well with the "True Crime, Glass of Wine, in Bed by Nine” hoodie.)
5. True crime mug, $15.95
Or, if wine isn’t their thing, maybe coffee is? Your loved one can fondly remember the gift you got them as they sip their morning stimulant while listening to the soothing sounds of a podcast host describing how a person got stabbed.
Ahh, nothing like a murder podcast in the morning.
This mug is especially cute because it promotes not talking to others. So, your bud can listen to their podcast about antisocial people committing crimes with their earbuds in at the office while also being antisocial toward their coworkers.
6. True crime desk calendar, $9.99
This is another great gift that your loved one can use to isolate themselves from their coworkers.
Each day of the year features “one juicy, twisted story after the next,” according to the product description. From the Clown Killer to the inspiration behind "Silence of the Lambs" killer Buffalo Bill, this calendar promises to dish on the “gory details” of cults, killers, and cannibals alike.
"Small but impactful, this desk calendar is perfect to brighten up even the smallest of spaces offering a pop of personality and quick monthly reference,” it advertises.
Hmm, “brighten up.” Sure..
7. True crime and chill candle, $13.50
While these soy blend wax candles don’t smell like true crime (thankfully), they could set the mood while they enjoy a favorite docu-series. The 9 oz candle comes in a wide variety of scents, from ginger apple spice to brandied pear.
They also feature little drawings of hearts, skulls, and knives to be illuminated by flames. What else is there to life?
“Dear Diary,
I love murder podcasts and I love my friend who bought me this book so much. I am so happy that Oxygen instructed them to buy this for me.”
That is verbatim what your friend will write if you buy this little journal for them, complete with bloody text on the front.
9. Serial killer card deck, $12.90
Nothing brings more holiday cheer than gathering around the fire after opening up gifts and playing poker with the people you cherish, particularly while holding a card with a picture of everyone’s most loathed chocolate factory worker.
Dahmer and Wuornos, along with Ted Bundy, Ed Kemper, John Wayne Gacy, and a myriad of other known serial killers, replace images of jacks, kings, and queens on these cards.
This is another great gift for a loved one to use at the office... for games of solitaire.
10. Oxygen throw blanket, $49.95
You can cuddle up on the couch to watch your favorite true crime show (which wouldn’t be on any other network or platform besides Oxygen, obviously) all while the chalk outline of a dead body warms you up.
And of course, if you're looking for even more Oxygen branded true crime-themed gifts, may we recommend the Oxygen gift shop?
