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Erik and Lyle Menendez's Aunt Recalls "Awful" Details About the Family's Life Before Murders
Joan VanderMolen opened up about the Menendez Brothers' attempts to get their mother away from José Menendez in a recent interview.
The 92-year-old aunt of Lyle and Erik Menendez minced no words about the family’s support to see the brothers’ hopeful release from prison.
Joan VanderMolen, the older sister of murder victim Kitty Menendez, spoke to Vanity Fair, giving insight into what prompted the siblings, then 18 and 21, to gun down their parents in their Beverly Hills mansion in the summer of 1989. The interview's October 11, 2024 publication aligns with an upcoming hearing that could result in the convictions being overturned and unprecedented support in the court of public opinion.
“They didn’t deserve any of this,” VanderMolen said of her nephews, who are currently serving life in prison. “They were used and abused, and there seems to be no end to it.”
Allegations that José Menendez physically and sexually abused the boys before the double murder were cast aside ahead of their 1996 convictions, which many say is why the brothers, now in their fifties, should have faced charges of manslaughter instead of first-degree murder.
The case was detailed in the original series Menendez + Menudo: Boys Betrayed, now available to stream on Peacock.
VanderMolen told Vanity Fair that despite her nephews killing her sister, she has supported them “since day one,” revealing the men tried to get Kitty Menendez to leave her husband ahead of the double homicide.
About Kitty Menendez’s Marriage to José Menendez
VanderMolen said she and Mrs. Menendez would spend “hours” talking on their weekly phone calls but stated it didn’t go beyond “recipes and different stuff.”
“I knew it wouldn’t go anywhere, because José ruled the roost,” VanderMolen said in her phone interview with Vanity Fair. “He was like that.”
She added, “There was a lot to be gained by sticking by your man.”
Lyle and Erik Menendez’s first — and televised — trial became a national sensation, in which the court allowed evidence to be introduced pointing to José Menendez’s alleged abuse. A second — less-publicized — trial in 1996 severely restricted the defense.
Kitty Menendez was widely painted as a woman who permitted the alleged abuse to continue. According to VanderMolen, her daughter, Diane, tried to tell Kitty Menendez about what was happening.
“But she didn’t believe it,” VanderMolen said of her sister. “She took Lyle right upstairs to his dad so he could do what he wanted.”
When asked about what she believed initially attracted Kitty to her music executive husband, VanderMolen described José as a bait-and-switch.
“Oh, besides the charm and the money, she had ambitions, and he helped to fulfill them,” said the sister. “She was a radio announcer in southern Illinois — she was very well-respected — and he kind of matched that for her. He probably behaved as well as he knew how while they were courting. My family wasn’t pleased when they got married. They didn’t think she knew him well enough or was accustomed to his ways.”
VanderMolen went into graphic detail about a time when Erik Menendez, as a boy, refused to eat dinner without a lemon, unaware at the time that it connected to José’s alleged sexual abuse, as previously covered in Menendez + Menudo: Boys Betrayed. According to the men’s aunt, Erik Menendez still requires a lemon with his meals “to this day.”
“I don’t know how much my sister knew, but when I realized what was going on, it was pretty awful, [but] you can’t react to someone [like Jose],” VanderMolen continued. “I mean, you can’t imagine a personality that’s that strong. The boys were both at his beck and call.”
As time went on, Kitty Menendez became “more ill and nervous,” as exhibited by the mother allegedly breaking dishes “because of her frustration.”
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Lyle and Erik's Efforts to Persuade Their Mother to Leave José Menendez
According to VanderMolen, Lyle and Erik Menendez tried to get Kitty Menendez to leave their father.
Reporter Deanna Kizis for Vanity Fair discussed Kitty Menendez and VanderMolen growing up in a home where their mother — whom VanderMolen described as “a gentle woman” — continued to love their father, despite his reported philandering and abusive ways.
“Kitty should have left José long before [the murders],” VanderMolen said. “The boys tried to get her to leave, and they promised her they would take care of her and everything.”
The Menendez brothers have long maintained that, against José Menendez’s death threats, Erik Menendez told his older brother about the alleged abuse. They feared if they didn’t kill their parents, José would have killed them first for airing the family’s dirty laundry. According to VanderMolen, the boys, "all through their childhood," pleaded with their mother to leave.
“Kitty was beside herself half the time," she told Vanity Fair. "They said that they wanted her to leave him and said they would take care of her, and she just didn’t want to do that, or didn’t think she could. Maybe, I don’t know, she saw [José Menendez] as a livelihood. She had always intended to work on Broadway. That was her ambition in school, in college. And then he said, ‘You’re not gonna do that.’”
Joan VanderMolen says Kitty's family supports the Menendez Brothers
As recently touched on in Kim Kardashian’s viral op-ed supporting the men’s release, 24 relatives hope to see Lyle and Erik Menendez free.
VanderMolen, who speaks to the brothers behind bars weekly, said there’s nothing she wouldn’t do to help Lyle and Erik get out of prison, calling decades behind bars “unconscionable,” according to Vanity Fair.
“The whole family feels this way. We’re just trying to hold on and do what we can to help them, which isn’t much at this point," VanderMolen continued. “They’re in the hands of the law. I hope the law gets it figured out. You know, if it was their kids they’d be out of jail."
Only one family member, whom VanderMolen referred to as “a real assh-le,” did not believe the brothers suffered abuse at the hands of their parents. Of course, the majority disagrees.
“I don’t think we ever didn’t support them,” said the aunt. “We just didn’t think it was gonna be a lifetime like this. We thought they’d have an honest trial and that the truth would come out, and that’d be the end of it. But it didn’t happen.”
A new trial could be in the cards, pending a November 29, 2024 hearing scheduled following Los Angeles County District Attorney George Gascón’s new review of the case, as previously reported by Oxygen.com.
“Just know that I — we, the family — love Erik and Lyle,” VanderMolen concluded in her interview. “I hope our support gets them where they should be, and that’s not in prison.”
Learn more about the case in the original series Menendez + Menudo: Boys Betrayed, now available to stream on Peacock.
