The Janice Dickinson Modeling Agency
When Janice fired me from the agency I wasn't surprised, I knew from the beginning of season 4 that she was aware I had and wanted other opportunities to pursue. Before we filmed season 4, my manager said from the beginning: "This may be your last season if you want a legitimate acting career. So roll with what goes on and stay professional." I have never gotten fired from anything before, but I knew if that's what Janice wanted in her last episode then so be it, I wasn't going to quit...I'm not a quitter, I'm a survivor.
I love modeling. I have made money the last couple of years and showing my personality/emotions through the camera makes me happy and I'm good at it. However I think that filming the show for the last two years helped me realize what I wanted to do for a career. I think my honest feelings about wanting to be an actor came out this season but I kept that from Janice up until that point. This was my mistake but I didn't waste her time. I gave her ratings and got exposure for my work! It's a TV show, not a high fashion modeling agency.
When Janice fired me she called me into her bedroom at 2:00 am when I was asleep. I had a shoot for Zoom Teeth Whiting campaign for Dr. Dorfman the next morning, so I wasn't too happy that I got woken up at 2:00 am when I had to be up at 6:00 am. I felt like it wasn't fair, or professional to fire someone half asleep in the middle of the night. The last thing I wanted to do was discuss my place in the agency with her at that hour. I couldn't really explain myself and when she did fire me I didn't at the moment know what to say back until after the situation. I tried to go back and talk to her professionally when I was AWAKE, but she was over the discussion and I was pissed! Not the fact that she fired me but that she couldn't even talk to me as a professional and an adult.
The sad part is that Janice wanted me out of her "agency" due to my weight and not knowing how to walk. I've worked with the woman for two years and as an "agent" she should of known right away if I was right for her agency. It was a cop out. So I kind of questioned why she all of sudden wanted me to move on? The real reason was because she knew I wanted to act and I think was threatened by me having a manager for representation and possibly being a success in the future without her.
My relationship with Janice now is whatever. I will see the woman out and say hello. I never burn a bridge and even though she "fired me" for some good ratings, I think she will always remember that out of all the girls that ever worked on her TV show that I was real, honest, cutthroat, professional and knew how to handle rejection. Janice is an agent, businesswoman, b*tch, mom, etc. She has so many different personalities to her. I always knew she looked at me and she was reminded of herself when she was a young model.
Since the wrapping of season 4 I am so happy to have finally begun pursing my passion and calling in life. From the beginning 2 years ago when I had the opportunity to be a model on Janice's show I was hesitant and was told I would never have a serious career in the business after being on a reality show. But I can sit here today three years later and know that was one of the smartest, riskiest things I had ever done. I sleep, breathe and sh*t entertainment. I want to have multiple products under my name and be an entrepreneur in the years to come.
I just recently signed with a fairly big TV and film agent and couldn't be happier. I felt like I was lying to myself for a couple of years by wanting a career as a model. Modeling is nice but my heart is into bigger and better things. I love acting and every day I people watch and observe. I love to watch movies and see characters that can relate to my look and personalities. One of my ideal acting roles would to play someone very comedic but again I want to be known as having that range and diversity in different characters. Nothing is easy to pursue but if your heart believes in it and you know you can only see yourself doing that one thing in life...you can attract anything, no matter the hardening.