Episode 6 - Couple’s Therapy/Dating Deiondra
Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Talking to Rock T about getting married brought back a lot of memories for me. A lot.
And it got me thinking about my own experiences and observations about marriage. When
two people get married, I would say that the wife changes more than the husband. A
man is not going to stray too far from who he is, no matter what. I’m talking about
a seasoned man—not a young man—he’s not going to stray too far from himself. But a
woman around that stage in her life is still trying to find herself, and every time
she has a child, the child takes a piece of her with them. Now, after all the children
are grown, she’s trying to identify with herself again. And the man, he is who he
is. But he knows, if he’s really a man, he knows that his role is to be a provider.
So he really can’t stray from his role. But a woman, because of that time in her life,
fluctuates a bit, in search of herself. That’s also obvious of a man, too, but if
you ask me, and I would say a woman, because of the kid factor.
The issue of consistency came up a lot this week. If you asked Pilar if I am always
consistent, she’s say “No! To the ‘H’ no!” I try to be, though. We all search for
consistency. But life shapes that. We try to be as consistent as possible. Pilar,
she knows I’m going to provide, she knows I’m coming home, she knows I’m not going
to hang. She knows me. I’m going to be consistent with that. Now, as far as what I
do once I get home… She knows I’m not going to do anything too strenuous at home.
She’s knows I’ve already done that in the street. So when I come home, I want peace.
I’m not coming home to work. Please. She’s got three housekeepers! But I think, overall,
I’m pretty consistent.
What you saw this week with me and Deiondra's dates happens all the time. This is
nothing new, and this won't change in the future. All of Deiondra’s dates go through
the same interrogation, if they even make it to the house. You got to understand:
Deiondra is tough herself, so if they even make it to the house, that means she must
like them a bit. She knows I’m going to punk them, so if they make it through her
toughness, they’re going to be there for a minute. But most of those dudes, they’re
going to chase themselves off first. Because they think: “I have to deal with her,
then I have to deal with him!”
So, do I think any man is right for Deiondra? Yes. God. Jesus Christ is the right
kind of man for her. No one is ever going to be the right kind of guy, because I’m
her daddy. No one’s ever going to be good enough. You know how this is: according
to my mother, no woman was ever good enough for me, and then you become a parent,
and you understand the feeling. Now Pilar understands why my mother was like that.
And now I’m a father, and I understand. Deiondra has to find herself first. She doesn’t
even know what outfit she wants to wear that day. So she definitely doesn’t know what
kind of guy she wants to date!